If you have made the decision to divorce and you have children together, then doing what is best for them must be your priority. They are an innocent party in this, and as minors, they will still rely on the pair of you for so many things.
If you can work together better by getting divorced, then your child may end up far better off than if you all live together in a house full of conflict.
You do not need to get on to be good parents
If splitting up helps you get on better with your ex, then co-parenting is a fantastic option. You can discuss decisions concerning your child, be flexible about time with the kids and generally help each other out with the kids.
Yet that is not realistic for many couples. Sometimes it takes years before you can stand the sight of each other. Alternatively, a once abusive partner can continue to try and get at their ex every time they need to exchange the kids or talk about them.
In that case, what might be better is parallel parenting. This means that you both parent in your own way when it is your turn. It’s about realizing that arguing about things is typically more harmful to the kids than just letting each other get on with it.
Obviously, you would need to speak up if the other parent presents a real threat to your kids. Yet aside from that, you can keep contact to the minimum and trust that kids will adapt to your different parenting styles.
There is help available if you want to find out more about custody options. It’s important to remember that the right solution for your family can look very different for what works for other families.
