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When your marriage comes to an end in North Carolina, it can prompt a lot of complicated emotions, including shock, resentment and anger. It may be second nature to try to “win” at the divorce by coming out of it better than your spouse, but we at The Law Office of L. Bryan Smith regard this as an attitude that is both unhealthy and counterproductive. According to Forbes, divorce is not a matter of winners or losers. Even if it were, most people who go through a divorce would probably say that their ex got the better end of the deal. 

Instead of trying to win at the divorce, now is the time to take even more responsibility for the success of the process. There are three important steps you can do to accomplish this.

Find common ground

You and your spouse can set a positive tone for resolving more challenging issues later on if you can identify areas in which your goals are in alignment and reach agreement on those matters early in the process. 

Choose your battles

Divorce can be costly not only in terms of money but time and energy as well. More often than not, the fight may not be worth it. You should only dig in your heels to fight for something that is more important to you than anything else in your life and be willing to negotiate on any lesser issues. 

Maintain control of yourself

As you make decisions regarding your divorce, your logical brain should be running the show, not your emotions. Do some self-examination to determine why you are making certain choices and whether you would make the same choices in a different emotional state. If you find you are making decisions on the basis of emotional stress, take some sort of constructive action to relieve it and regain clarity. Once your logical brain is back in control of your emotions, you can resume the decision-making process. 

Divorce is not easy, but keeping things in perspective and looking at the larger picture can help the process go more smoothly. More information about divorce and other family law matters is available on our website.